Jerusalem really is the heart of the world. I can't describe it or put my finger on it, outside of the Old City it looks like a completely normal city, but there's something in the air, something that goes through you, circulating and pumping your heart, an ancient life force or energy that connects you to not only the past, but the present as well. One can truly live in the moment if they want to, all it takes is a bit of perspective and contemplation. All we have is the present; the future is merely an illusion, non-existent, an imaginary end goal that, if misunderstood, can cause unnecessary anxiety and fear. There's no such thing as the future since once we're there, it's the present. That's why humanity can truly tap into their potential only when they are focused on the here and now. Not tomorrow, not next week or ten years from now, but in the moment, where people are alive and progressing forward, is there a true level of existence and where G-d can be most found.
Now don't hold me to this 100%, but, in hebrew, G-d's name is spelled yud, hey, vov, hey or Y-H-V-H. If isolated, the 'H-V-H' is meant to express being while the 'Y' indicates something ongoing. Therefore, G-d's name literally expresses an ongoing being (omnipresence), an ongoing present. That is why G-d is most found in the here and now as opposed to in past/future history. By tapping into that all-present presence, we can actualize the reality that is G-d, a state of being as opposed to some distant diety looking down on us from a spot in heaven. In regards to the past, one should never live in the past because, just like preoccupying onself with the future, it detracts from living the present. The past should merely be used to propel us in the perpetually unfolding present that we call the future.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system *phew*, it's time for the update. I'm loving Jerusalem. Only in Israel can I walk 30 minutes from my yeshivah and find myself and the holiest place in the world (the kotel). I've met some pretty "interesting" people, Israel is full of people who either think that they are the Messiah or don't quite know how to express their excitment for the Messiah's arrival. I'm learning a ton about my Jewish identity, living in Israel, Israel and it's relationship with rest of the world (which sadly is incredibly skewed and misunderstood), and myself. The main problem that I have here is trying to find a focal point for all this energy that I have!
I will admit, though, that I miss my family and friends. It's very difficult to be away from my mom, dad, brother, dog (even though she is annoying), and close friends. I also miss having a piano to play, as well as having a library of scores and recordings at my disposal. I've been keeping up with composing; I'm actually working on a new technique/process of composing that involves studying Chassidut (Jewish mysticism) and writing. So far the prospects seem promising, but it's difficult to navigate a completely new system that seems to have no prior grounding in previous composers.
Something that I didn't quite expect was the level of individuality that I've found in yeshivah; while I knew that I would be trying to figure myself out here, I've found that by being around so many religious people/living in such a religious community that I've felt the need to preserve my individuality even more. This is not to say that I'm trying to be different, but it's been forcing me, in a sense, to keep in touch with who I am. That's all for now, sorry for the gap in time between blog posts, but as you can tell I have been VERY busy!
with love,
Zach/Michael
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