Thursday, November 18, 2010

Torah blog of week: wrestling with our past

Shalom everyone! This week's parsha is especially moving and dramatic. In it, we see a development of the complex character of Jacob as well as the unfolding of many important events in his life. One event in particular that stands out is one that, with a little bit of delving deep, can apply to all of our lives and that is his wrestling match with the angel.

We find Jacob at the beginning of the parsha preparing to meet his brother, Esau, whom he hasn't seen in many years. The last time he and Esau were together was when they were much younger and it wasn't necessarily the most pleasant experience; Jacob had bought Esau's first born birthright for a bowl of lentil soup and then later took Isaac's blessing for Esau through deceit. At this point in his life, Jacob was much older, having gone through much growth, learning, and hardship. It was years since the events of the past that tore the sibling relationship apart and now, after much time and change, he was going to meet with him again face to face. It was the night before his meeting with Esau; Jacob sent his family ahead of him while he stayed behind to collect up a few things. It is then that without warning, a stranger came and attacked him.

The stranger, according to Jewish tradition, was Esau's guardian angel. The two wrestled all night, tirelessly persisting in the struggle. The angel struck Jacob in the hip, yet Jacob still continued to fight. Once the sun began to rise, the angel told Jacob to let him go, yet Jacob refused to stop fighting unless the angel blessed him. The angel finally granted Jacob his wish saying "No longer shall your name be called Jacob; rather, Israel shall be your name. For you have struggled with G-d and with men, and you have prevailed" (Gen. 32:29) When asked his own name by Jacob, the angel doesn't tell him and then, after this seemingly random conflict, leaves.

It's interesting to note that the angel was Esau's guardian angel. Jacob was incredibly worried for the reunion with Esau; he had prayed to G-d, begging him to have mercy on him and on his family that Esau would not cause them any harm. The fight with the angel was merely an outward manifestation of the larger battle going on within himself. Not only was Jacob struggling with his past, but he was also struggling with himself. We see this reflected in his change of name. A name can have a tremendous amount of meaning in one's identity. Jacob's name in hebrew, Ya'akov, is related to the word eikev, meaning "heel". For all of Jacob's life, he had to deal with the lowest aspects of himself and his surroundings. A heel, which supports the body on top of it, also deals with the mud and the dirt. When Jacob had the name Jacob, he had a tremendous internal support system to get him through some of the lowest, most difficult times of his life. Israel, on the other hand, is a name given to Jacob after he has struggled with G-d and men; he was able to overcome all of his struggles and come out victorious.

How does this apply to our life? When looking back on our lives, it's every easy to see blemishes in our past and to get bogged down by them. We can often get depressed, pushing negative memories further and further back in the recesses of our mind. We turn on ourselves, treating ourselves lower and with more malice than we would our worst enemies. We're hit where it hurts the most, in our foundation. We tell ourselves that we are empty, worthless, nothing. There comes a time, however, when you have to deal with your past, whether it was something bad that you did and now regret, a traumatic experience, or negative character traits. Sometimes we have to go to the lowest points in ourselves, yet it is in these moments that we may also find the most strength to move on. Once we've overcome the struggle and gotten past our weaknesses, it is then that we will have become a new person, one who struggled with G-d (asking as many "hows" and whys" as we can) and with men (our internal demons) and won (at peace with G-d and living a life free of worries and anxieties). We can all fight this fight; if we don't start it now, then sooner or later, it will start up with us. Take the initiative, dig your wells deep, draw up your strength when you need it, and fight your battles wisely. Have a victorious day.
With all my love,
Zach

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Torah blog of the week: Rocking out with G-d

Shalom everyone! In this week's parsha, parshas Vayeitzei we finally shift focus to one of the central figures in the entire Torah, Jacob. Jacob is known for many things: wrestling with the angel, producing the twelve tribes, and holding the title of what is considered to be the father of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people. Jacob is also an incredibly deep and complex character, full of inner struggle and turmoil, and yet champion of many victories as well. In the beginning of the parsha, we are provided with a rather fitting introduction that sets the character for the third a final patriarch of the Jewish people.

Jacob had just left his family in Beersheba to head for his Uncle's hometown of Charan. On his way there, Jacob found a place where he prayed to G-d and decided to spend the night. He gathered some rocks together, placed them around his head and one under his head for a pillow, and then fell asleep. It was during the course of his sleep that Jacob experienced a dream that would change the course of his life from that point on. In the dream there was a ladder standing firmly on the ground with its top reaching up toward heaven and angels ascending and descending on it. G-d appeared to him, telling him of the covenant between him and G-d, promising him offspring as numerous as the dust of the earth, and telling him not to fear the future. When Jacob awoke, he realized the awesome power of the place where he slept and to honor G-d, he placed the stone upon which he slept as a monument, poured oil on it, and took a vow declaring "If G-d will be with me; and will protect me on the journey that I am undertaking, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear; and I return to my father's house untainted; and G-d will be my G-d, then this stone that I have set up as a monument will become a house of G-d." (Gen. 28:20-22)

What is there to learn from this incredibly symbolic encounter? The stones set up around Jacob's head were there to protect him from wild animals. What is a stone? It is inanimate and unconscious matter, the concept of being humble, with no sense of self. What are the animals that Jacob was trying to protect himself from? His base, animalistic drives for physicality and self-seeking motivations. This indicates the strength of humility, a state of being which essentially downplays the importance of selfhood and brings perspective to your place in the world; we realize that we aren't as great as we make ourselves out to be some (*cough* most *cough*) of the time. These are lessons that help and protect us at any time on our journey through life.

The stones also symbolize the supra-rational approach to G-d. If you base your belief of G-d upon your emotions, then you are subjectively assessing something which is inherently objective. If you base your belief upon your intellect, then you are only allowing G-d to be as big as your head can contain. If we want G-d to be the constant in our life, the "rock" upon which we can rely, then we must approach G-d, at least fundamentally, with a supra-rational approach, something that is far beyond our finite limitations and understandings (I don't mean to say that emotions and intellect aren't important. In fact, Jewish tradition has always encouraged striving to understand G-d through intellect and emotions, it must however have the foundation of supra-rationality).

Another idea connected to the rock is the idea of the monument. We see that the rock played more of an important than just protecting Jacob, it actually came to symbolize his covenant with G-d and the promise of the Jewish people being the land of Israel, in the House of G-d in particular. We learn from this that where Jacob slept for the night was on Mount Moriah, the very location that his father had almost been sacrificed and where the future Temple was to be built. There is another lesson to be learned from Jacob's monument that is telling of Jacob's character as a whole. Why did Jacob choose a simple rock to express his immense and intense spiritual connection to Hashem? By using a rock, Jacob was vowing to take even the lowliest and most materialistic aspects of his life and transform them into G-d's home. That rock would become the foundation of the Beit haMikdash, the dwelling place or House of G-d, in the future. It was no coincidence that Jacob dreamt of angels accending and descending on the ladder. This ladder was Jacob's connection to G-d, a connection consisting of elevating the physical to the spiritual and drawing down G-dliness into this world.

One final important lesson comes from when Jacob poured oil onto the top of the rock, consecrating it as an alter (Rashi 31:13). The spirit of the Jewish people have always been likened to olive oil. When extracting olive oil, the more a person crushes the olive, the more oil comes out. There is a reason why the Jewish people have made it through generations upon generations of hate, hardship, and opression; the more you try to break us, the more "Jewish spirit" is released, a spiritual energy that fuels our passions and drives us to not only survive, but to thrive. When Jacob stopped to sleep for the night, he was on his way to his uncle, Lavan, a wicked man who cheated Jacob and made things very hard on him. This hardship directly corresponds to this very concept for we see that even though life was hard for Jacob, he spiritually and materially prospered, siring twelve sons who would eventually go on to become the twelve tribes of Israel. This prospering is like the oil squeezed from the crushed olive. By pouring oil on the rock, Jacob was making a fundamental statement about the connection between the Jewish people and Hashem: that even when we're in the hardest and darkest times we will never be detered from our relationship with Hashem or abandoned by Him.

What we learn from this is a simple, yet powerful message: we must have the humility to see ourselves within the bigger picture. If we protect ourselves from our animalistic drives that try to tell us we are all that matters and that this world is a "what we see is what we get" sort of place, then we will be able to understand our purpose: to elevate the seemingly mundane into holiness. It's never easy, in fact it's a constant battle, but when we're under pressure, that is when our true essence will shine. If we can find within ourselves, within others, and within the world around us that unmoving rock of strength and faith, then we will be able to ascend higher and higher on Jacob's ladder, a ladder that will elevate our lives and ultimately bring Heaven down to Earth. Have an elevated day.
With all my love,
Zach

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Torah blog of the week: Drawing from the well of inner strength

There's a challenge that we're constantly faced with everyday. This challenge, whether we recognize it or not, it plays an incredibly powerful role in our lives. It's the challenge of finding inner meaning and strength. When a person takes a step back and takes a good honest look at themselves and the lives which they have played out, it doesn't take long for them to realize how incredibly complex this thing we call "existence" is. This "existence", in fact, can get so complex that we can often consciously and subconsciously decide to ignore it, to shy away from the challenge of seeking meaning, an ultimate purpose, a task which binds us all together. We are capable of living out our lives and never once having a true taste of existence merely based on the fact that such a concept scares us senseless. So instead, we set up a "puppet life", a scenario with which to play out our time, to shield us from what's really going on around us; a candle-lit cave of shadow puppets distracting us from the sun-lit meadow outside. The Torah, on the other hand, rejects such ideas. It seeks for humanity to take a good look at world around them, to question all that they perceive and know. It offers parables and analogies with which to understand Divine knowledge, consciousness, and mission. It also provides the tools with which to generate changes and maintain sources of strength we never thought possible. This week's parsha is an example of such resources.

This week's parsha, parshas Toldos (generations) shows us the life of Isaac in the wake of his parent's passing and in his marriage to his wife, Rebecca. It also shows us the birth of his two sons, Jacob and Esau, and the beginning of the conflict that ensues between the brothers. We see Isaac maintaining a covenant with G-d and continuing his father's work, a fundamental foundation in the family life of the patriarchs and matriarchs. All of these events of the help explain it's title, Toldos (generations); these are the records of history, strength, and tradition being passed down through the mantle of generations. It's interesting, then, to see that the majority of Isaac's work was going back and redoing everything that his father had done, all the while carrying on his father's mission.

What's interesting about Isaac, however, is that while he carries on what his father started, he is in many ways the exact opposite of Abraham: his father went out and sought followers while Isaac never made any attempts to, his father traveled across many different lands while Isaac remained in the land of Israel. In kabbalistic and chassidic traditions, Abraham is often likened to the Divine attribute of kindness while Isaac to severity; Abraham was all about going out into the world and spread Divine consciousness while Isaac remained in isolation, taking the time to mediate in the fields of his land and work on himself. In this comparison we see the two fundamental paths of avodah (spiritual service) that a person can have: a person can be inspired and spread that inspiration, going out to help people, seeking the welfare of others and constantly making sacrifices (Abraham) or they can focus on self-refinement, laying the ground work of discipline, constantly seeking to go further and further into their core from which they can pull out essential strength. This is reflected in a task that Abraham and Isaac both undertook: digging wells.

What is a well? A well is a deeply dug hole in the ground that allows those using it to pull up water that was once concealed. This is the idea of self refinement, of digging down into ourselves past the mud and rock (spiritual dirt) and finding a wellspring of strength from which to draw. When Abraham dug his wells, they were filled up with soil by the Philistines. The hebrew root for Philistine is "pey-lamed-shin" (these are the sounds of the hebrew letters), meaning "to penetrate" or "to break through borders". This is likened to the boundless, ungoverned hedonism, the ultimate act of break boundaries and rules set up to maintain conscientious and thoughtful existence. It is this obsession with the tangible, felt existence of imagined, puppet reality. By the Philistines filling up Abraham's wells it shows that while Abraham was great at inspiring others, his method of spreading Divine consciousness didn't seek to draw the goodness and inspiration from within others. Isaac's, on the other hand, re dug his father's wells and the Philisitines were unable to fill them in. This was Isaac's method: to force people to confront their psychological stumbling blocks, dig deep down through the layers of history, of emotional scars and hang-ups. Where Abraham's message to a person would be "come and quench your thirst from the holy waters of G-d" Isaac's would be "let those waters strengthen you for the task ahead. Get down into the dirt, start digging, and, with much diligence and determination, you will find the holy waters within yourself and never be thirsty again."

These are the two forces that govern our lives. Sometimes we feel inspired. This is good; we use it to motivate ourselves to keep going and to reach out to help others. This is a very necessary path of avodah in our lives, otherwise we would only care about ourselves. However, we must be able to help ourselves before we can help others, to constantly keep seeking to refine ourselves until we discover the wellspring of our inner essence. In this weeks parsha it refers to the well as "mayim chaim", living waters. May we all have the tools and strength necessary to be able to dig deep into ourselves, draw out the living water, and quench the thirst of others. Have a focused day.
with all my love,
Zach