Shalom from Jerusalem! Things have been pretty intense over here; Rosh Hashanah was incredible and was then followed by an incredible week of teshuvah (look at my previous posts for an explanation of teshuvah). As many of you know, tonight (Jewish days start at night) is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year. Much like Tisha b'Av, for 26 hours Jews will abstain from marital relations, applying lotions, wearing leather shoes, bathing, and most importantly, they will be fasting. Now, the main difference between the two fasts (Tisha b'Av and Yom Kippur) is that on Tisha b'Av we're remembering the major calamities in Jewish history (blech, at a time like this, who could eat?) and on Yom Kippur, we're privy to the highest revelation of G-dliness ever (at a time like this, who WANTS to eat?!?!) By refraining from very physical acts and pleasures on Yom Kippur, we're transcending the finite and taking on the status of angels, setting ourselves up for what could be, if utilized properly, an incredibly holy day. But what exactly does it mean to utilize it properly? Does it mean going to synagogue all day, moaning and groaning about not being able to eat, standing up and sitting down constantly, rubbing your sore and aching back or throbbing headache, and half-heartedly giving "lip service"? Or is it something deeper, something that calls for concentration, requires not only the body, but soul; something more essential? It seems that in order to fully realize and appreciate Yom Kippur, we must first know a little something about what the day is really about. As I stated in my previous post, although the ones required to observe the mitzvot and go to syangogue are Jews, you don't need to be Jewish in order to take advantage of what this day has to offer.
It says in the Talmud (Jewish rabbinic text) that there are ten days of teshuvah between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but any person who knows a little bit about dates would realize that there are actually seven days between the two holidays. What gives? Is it ten or seven? Well, the truth is that it's both. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are three of the ten days, making them days of teshuvah, but they each have something special that sets them apart from the other ten days, which means that they are both within and outside of the chronological ten days. What makes them so special? On Rosh Hashanah, we declare Hashem as King; we see ourselves as just a little piece in a vast portrait of reality. On Yom Kippur, we transcend normal reality, entering into a realm outside of space and time where it's just us and Hashem. On this level, no good deed or sin could have any affect and it is because of this, the fact that everything is perfect, unchanging, and untouched, that we are atoned for all of our sins. This past week has been part of the ten days of teshuvah, days in which we are encouraged to do more mitzvot, connect to what Hashem really wants of us, take stock of all the things that we may have done that weren't so nice, and make resolutions to change for the future. In order to illustrate this concept, there is a wonderful story that I recently heard that I'd like to share with you.
There was once a chasid who approached is rebbe and asked him "Rebbe, why is it that on eruv Yom Kippur (the hours before the holiday) chasidim have a big seudah (festive meal)?" His understanding was that Yom Kippur is a very serious holiday and that any pre-holiday eating shouldn't go much beyond eating bread and water in a corner of a room, trembling in fear. His Rebbe told him "Go to the next town over and observe the first house that you find. There, you will see why chasidim eat a seudah before the holiday." So the chasid traveled to the house in the town. When he got there, he observed through the window a man sitting at a table near the fire place. "Hashem," the man said. "it's almost Yom Kippur. I know that I haven't always done right by You, but You should know that I really do love You. I would never intentionally hurt You and if I ever did during the year, I'm so sorry for all the pain that it caused. I just wanted to tell You..." The man then reached into the desk drawer and produced a big, thick book. Opening the book, he pointed to the first line and said "On this day, I didn't prayer with proper kavanah (intention). And then on this day, I spoke gossip. There was also this day when my kashrut observance was a bit questionable. And on this day..." The man had taken stock of EVERY single transgression or sin that he had commited the entire year!
After reading through the entire book, the man closed the book and reached into the desk drawer again. "But You know Hashem," he said as he produced another book (this one was a bit smaller). "There have been times during the year that I really haven't understood what You were trying to tell me. There was this one time when my wife broke her leg; what did she deserve that for? She's an incredibly righteous woman! And also during the winter, by son became incredibly ill and almost died. What did he do to deserve that, he's only an innocent child! There was also this large business investment that I made earlier that seemed to be reliable, but in the end, caused me to lose more money that I could have made!"
The man paused and closed the book before getting to carried away. "Listen, there's been things in my life that I haven't quite understood." He glanced at the book of his sins. "But then again, I haven't even come close to doing what is expected of me. I have an idea," The mean gathered both of the books together. "how about we forget these books, just start with a clean slate, a fresh start. What do You say?" The man then turned to the fireplace and threw both of the books into the fire, watching them burn along with all of the sins and misunderstandings of his past year. The man got up and, with a big smile on his face, said "NOW I'm ready for a seudah!"
What's the whole point of this INCREDIBLY lengthy story? We're not so great; maybe we spoke too much gossip or didn't speak up when people were being spoken ill of, maybe we were to quick to judge others without any consideration to our own finitude, maybe we didn't give the extra change back when the cashier made a mistake. Sure we've made mistakes, but no one's perfect. But then again, this year wasn't so great either; maybe our wallet was stolen or we missed out on an opportunity to make a profit, maybe we came down with a bad case of mono, which took us out of commission for a month; maybe our friend was in a near-fatal car accident. In the end, it all belongs to the past; there's always more money to be made, opportunities to make up missed work, time to heal seemingly unhealable wounds. We have a choice: do we decide to arrogantly clutch on the past, attaching ourselves to it out of some misplaced need for stability or do we decide to let go, let the past remain the past and do the only healthy thing, move on? This is what Hashem offers us on Yom Kippur. We've all sinned, we've all fell regret, we've all made ammends to those who we've hurt, and we've all resolved to change; on Yom Kippur, Hashem wipes away all of our blemishes and helps us progress by giving us another chance. By revealing our perfect and unchanging essence for 26 hours, Hashem burns away all of our impurities and makes us into the pure, flawless gold that we were before and have always been. So whether you're Jewish or non-Jewish, fasting or trying as best as you can, going to synagogue for all of the services or just popping in and out, try keeping Yom Kippur and what it's all about in your head and guarantee that you will have a more meaningful day than you've had in a while. Wishing you all a sweet new year and may you be sealed in the book for life, prosperity, health, and happiness. Have a meaningful Yom Kippur observance.
All of my love,
Zach
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